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Thursday, 25 August 2016

You got to poke them all

Breaking news: Beefeaters have been drafted in to Walmer Castle to protect the historical site from hordes of Pokemon hunters.

A spokesman for English Heritage said the unusual steps were a necessity as the Tudor castle has been made hot spot for Pokemon Go  a game played at most by besotted 25 to 30 year olds fed up with their mundane yuppie working lives.

Many of them have just recovered from V Fest, where they consumed vast amounts of alcohol.

A Dutch tourist to the castle said, "I zeed not no thatz zee Cassel wert so popular, buzz I seez a youngs men waltz into 350 year old artifact of Henry zero 8th and totally fuck whizz it"

A local old disabled man fed up that his favourite parking spot had gone said it fooking stinks that not one of them had even paid to get into the castle.

"They are just walking round looking into their phones...someone needs to get them all a new life which they sell up the Coop".