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Saturday, 4 April 2015

They took part of our life away...

They violated our peace

On the evening of the 1st April, something happened, something shockingly bad that has affected us inside, deep inside. We feel scared, violated, useless, pathetic and more, much more.

Thursday should have been just another normal day in my battle to live and work. The first full day of the kids on their school break for Easter. I should have been happy, another day battling anxiety doing people's gardens, making them look good. The kids would have minded themselves looking for things to do during the holidays, my wife was to visit and help her disabled mum.

I was at a client's garden, weeding. Yes, digging out the stuff not wanted or loved. Then I got a call from my wife whom retorted at me that she could not find her handbag. Had I picked it up? Did I know where it was? I replied to her it must be somewhere, had she looked everywhere possible around the house. I was questioning her, my wife was questioning me and we were doubting each other and doubting our children.

Then it dawned that it had been taken, but how we could not comprehend, how? I had to abandon my client, feeling angry, stupid, thinking it was probably under a pile of clothes or cushions. I came home and my wife was in a panic mode, angry, upset and each time I wanted to look she would shout at me "I have done that, done that..."

I went outside and looked around, in fact my wife was already doing so as drove onto the driveway. We were facing the real frightening thought that someone had entered our home and lifted my wife's handbag.

And the most awful thought is that they did this while we were in, at home. We were at home.

We routed out our insurance policy, my wife contacted them, contacted the police, called a locksmith and contacted the bank. And in this time we were going into shock, shaking, angry. We kept thinking how, what did we do and trying to recall what had happened from the previous evening to the morning.

I always on most every occasion lock the front, have been bolting the back gate and locking our shed. I am always conscious about our security. And because of my anxiety I tend to double check and check again. But do you need to lock up when your at home, awake and mobile and active, especially so the door to the back garden.

We asked our neighbours next to us and we found out that there had been a disturbance outside. Some young persons were chased off down an alley by some residents in our street. Then we found out that a house round the corner had a theft.

Whilst waiting for the police to call that day, what should have been a normal working day my wife told me to go back to my clients, try and carry on, but I found it hard to do that, thinking and mulling over what we had  suffered. Kept thinking about it, the thought of someone entering our home, seeing my wife suffering and myself feeling useless on how to console her visible grief.

The police came, took notes, looked around. They told us we would never have known if someone had simply pushed opened the door saw the item and just lifted it right under our noses, either whilst we were in our living room or had gone upstairs to the toilet.

One lapse in our security, our movements seen from outside and an opportunist thief took that small moment of time and not only take the handbag but took a part of our life away.

We went out and looked around our neighbourhood and I will go out this morning and look again. And probably do the same again tomorrow.  I have scoured selling sites and will do so again later in the day. My wife will check our bank, we will look out of our windows scrutinizing each and every person walking by in our street.

And then we must overcome the fear inside us in that; can we leave our house, visit the shop, go and see relatives and friends. We can draw back our curtains and blinds, momentarily closed because of fear, we can leave the back door open in the daytime whilst we are at home, not having to lock it just because we are turning our backs to head into the living room or reach into a cupboard.

This is normal life but when normality will be restored I do not know. One opportunist thief has destroyed the peace we had, scum we call them, scum. In taking your chance you took from us not just an item but you took a part of our life away. In stealing an item you stole our life, violated our peace and your own inner thoughts were of triumph and escape, you think you were victorious in some sort of battle, had a right to take when you did not have.

We feel we have no right to belong in society now, but it is you who should have no right to belong. God may forgive you but why should we forgive. We might feel sorry but why should I empathise with persons like you. I pray your thoughtless action stays with you until your death because today you changed us, destroyed us, violated us. It is you who should be in a prison not us!

May God have mercy on your soul.