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Friday, 19 February 2016

Caring for elderly is an insane madness (part I)

Why is caring for parents so bloody hard?

When one is thrown into the role of carer for elderly parents then one can surmise that this ought be easy at first. After all you have a relationship with your parents that has grown from that parent-child role into adult-adult status. 

And this assumption is ones first big mistake because if you are having to care because, let's say, your mother is no longer mobile or maybe your father has dementia, then your heart and mind will be seriously challenged.  It is like an egg timer being turned upside down with a massive shake so that the sand slips through faster than expected. As carer you will have to lessen that flow to give your parents and yourself a good  balance of life, and that will be hard going, emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically.

How you step into this role of carer depends on your expectations and circumstances. Do not expect it to be a quick fix because it won't be...it is a gruelling slog and if you are not readily fit for it then one will certainly suffer its pain. It will be like stumbling over sticks you fall and simply pick yourself up and start again. But learn from that fall.

In this modern age of England most of our parents probably reside in homes that most may have no downstairs toilet. So if your parent has had a fall and the most common injury in old age is a broken hip, then take heed because the recovery of a hip replacement is around six months. Therefore, with no downstairs toilet, a commode will be essential in their recovery, so plenty of air spray, pleasant smelling wipes and a nose peg will be needed...honestly, damn right essential!

Let's make the challenge more challenging...one parent is now less mobile and the other has dementia for it is this disease of the mind that to a carer is the most emotionally and mentally, dysfunctional test of character that will either harden your resolve and certainly change your once adult to adult relationship to a child-parent role. Your dementia suffering parent being the now child and you as "parent".